Do you ever try to prep your kids without telling them the whole story of what is about to happen?
The full weight of the reality that our twelve-year-old lab is not doing well and on her last leg is too much for my kids to bear, so I tone it down:
“Abby is not hearing well any more and can’t see. That tends to happen as dogs get older.”
They chalk it up for random pieces of information, but in my mind I hope to lessen the blow for what I know is coming in the next few months.
I am praying for wisdom in the decisions I make concerning Abby’s care and future, but I almost feel like God is withholding specific instructions and instead whispering Trust Me to the deeper places of my soul.
If I’m honest, prepping is my attempt to gain control over potential heartache. My plan is to ease my family into it to protect them.
The problem I run into is that I am counting on logic and knowledge to get us through this heartache of letting Abby go. I am accounting for their brains but not their hearts.
I am drawing from the well of earthly wisdom, but not saturating myself and family with the living water that satisfies thirsty souls.
Is it our job to prepare for and protect our hearts from heartache?
I hope not, because I have tried in the past and failed.
The control I felt in being proactive was exhilarating, but it’s copycat freedom built fortified walls. The walls of protection worked for a while, but they kept out the love and peace I desired the most.
I still feel vulnerable when I don’t have control. I feel like I am not being a protective mom if my kids experience heartache, but my faith says I know better.
I believe God’s promises, and I want my kids to trust God’s power and not rely on the limited power of earthly wisdom.
Paul felt the same way towards the christians in Corinth:
When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5
I want my kids to see God’s power and love in me. We will grieve together when the day comes, but I trust God to show up and allow my kids to experience His peace and restoration in the midst of our tears.
I don’t want my family to walk around with the heaviness of responsibilities God did not intend for us to carry. I don’t want them to miss the joy in each day by spending their thoughts preparing their hearts for heartache that may or may not happen.
I want them to trust God and live free, and today I choose to listen to God’s wisdom.
It begins with me.